Last night I had a dream I was attending the Oscars but the moment I hit the red carpet I was dragged away by security because I didn’t shave my legs that day.
The invitation said “daily leg shaving required” in very small letters.
It was all kinds of awkward. There I was in the middle of L.A., all alone with perfect legs (“dream” legs that were actually quite smooth), worrying about what the tabloids would say the next day.

I wonder what my mind is trying to tell me.